How to get off a bus

Simple you may think but you are mistaken. It is a complex business starting with the look on your face as you belatedly realise you are at your stop. (You can practise this expression at the check out of any supermarket when you suddenly accept that you have to pay for your trolley load.) Rise slowly to your feet and then go through all your possessions to make sure you have everything. Women with handbags are at an advantage here as this process can be spun out for minutes. Move in a leisurely fashion down the aisle chatting to anyone you know not forgetting the driver who likes a little conversation. Step gently off and beam happily at the waiting queue who have been standing in the wind and rain admiring your expertise.

Remaining sexist niche

Some inequalities between the sexes have been successfully removed but one that remains is the fault of women as much as men. Females are still regarded as the organisers of social life and main participants: it is acceptable for a male to be aloof or preoccupied but women must be amenable to whatever chumminess is happening. "I want to be alone" - or tinkering with my bike - needs to be understood no matter who says it.

Cows

I confess to a fear of cows and their large bony bottoms. On a walk along the banks of the Wye yesterday, I passed by this lovely little church and on through a field I normally avoid since there is usually a herd eyeing me with dislike. I was perturbed by the extra large pats I saw but only realised their cause on the way back when the cows, which had been clearly hiding in bushes and waiting for me, reappeared and, once again, put their bony bottoms to the use intended for them by Nature. Feebly I accosted a passing ornithologist who clapped his hands and shooed them away, leaving me to realise why parents used to scare their children by warning them that Boney would come and get them.

Activity tracker

I have just bought one of those wristbands that counts steps and tells me how well I've slept. To avoid advertising, I will call it my Fatnot. I sat down to celebrate with a glass before dinner, raising my toast to the Fatnot gadget with the same hand. I am delighted to report that it recorded 30 steps and is therefore clearly ProProsecco!

Saving money

When shopping, it is quite easy to save money - but only if you have more than you need immediately. Bulk buying of loo paper on special offer is possible when you have extra in your purse and those 3 for price of 2 can be a bargain provided there is surplus cash. In my Lancashire youth we had a saying: "Muck flies t'th'midden" meaning that money went where there was already plenty - all too true even now.

Hair products

I recently had my neat bob cut into short layers to achieve that gamine look. Obviously this needs a cupboard full of pots, tubes and sprays to maintain its style and - to be fair - many of these are cheap and effective. Yesterday, however, I sanitised my hands with antibacterial gel and then absent-mindedly ran my fingers through my mop. Result? Choppy, beachy, sexy, urchin, effortless - and very clean!

SPF

We are constantly told that exposure to the sun can cause skin cancer and that we should use creams to avoid it. I have found that this vital advice is not easy to follow as the preparations are not always clear in their instructions. For example, one facial brand, even recommended by dermatologists, says it is for 'daily' usage but does not say if that means that it lasts all day (unlikely) or that it can be applied each morning. Also I have wondered if, having rubbed in one colourless version with a SPF of 15 and then another as make-up, that adds up to 30. Surely manufacturers should be forced to be transparent over this.