A couple of weeks ago I bought a perfectly ordinary bottle of red wine from my local Co-op in my usual perfectly ordinary fashion. A few days later I was asked to complete a survey which went something like this with ratings of 1 to 5 depending on my valuations:
1) How would you rate the wine you bought?
2) How would you rate the experience of buying your wine?
3) Did the experience of buying your wine fill you with radiant warmth?
4) Did the experience of drinking your wine fill you with warm radiance?
5) Was the smile on the face of the assistant who served you your wine warm and radiant?
6) Did the dog often chained outside your shop wag its tail in a radiant and warm manner?
7) Please rate your memories of your wine according to the totality of the satisfaction the whole experience gave you.
8) Would you recommend us to your circle of friends for our warmth and radiance?
9) After you had drunk your wine could you even remember what kind it was and where you had bought it?
10) Will you be returning to our local inquisitive shop for your next fulfilling experience of buying wine?
The answer to the last is that I am turning teetotal as a result of this overall life-changing event but I have one question to put to you.
When can I expect a survey to rate my experience of filling in your survey?